My husband and I are only children, and each of our families wants us home for every holiday. We have decided that two holiday meals in different locations are ridiculous, and we’ve been trying to convince our parents to come to our home. We explained we want to be able to invite our friends, and this would be our chance to make these days special for us as well as them. They have been resisting our attempts, but we’ve put our foot down and they will be joining us for the next few holidays on a trial basis.

We thought this would be fairly easy, but it has put stress on our relationship. Our families like different holiday foods, and he doesn’t know any of his mother’s recipes. After a few heated arguments over the menu, we decided it was time to create a new holiday menu. We’re not sure it will work, and we’re still anxious about how it will be received by our guests.

His family always serves roast goose on important holidays, but my family favors roast beef. We decided to compromise by writing down dishes we like, and we put them into a bowl. Each holiday we’ll be drawing out a different piece of paper, and that will be the start of our new holiday menus. This way we’ll be able to add appropriate side dishes, so it should be easier to make a choice without fighting about it.

We’re serving pork roast for our first holiday, and we hope it is a big hit. It was easy enough to decide on the side dishes and drinks we’d serve once we found a way past that first hurdle. After we’d chosen the meat, we realized it was our first difficult decision of our new life together. He suggested we do this when we couldn’t reach a reasonable compromise, and I agree it’s a great way to find a compromise without all the drama.